When we talk about love, we can’t talk as if it is simply an emotion. Love can make you emotional, but it’s more than an emotion. Love is a commitment, a conscious decision rooted in the nature of God, who Himself is love.
Without commitment, there is no love and this is why it’s easy to walk away in difficult times. When you are committed to loving, you honor another, placing value on who they are without stumbling over who they’re not. Committed love extends beyond what some may call emotional love because it has less to do with how you feel and more to do with how committed you are.
Love is doing what’s best for a person regardless of how you feel. You’re committed—locked in. I see it like this: once I make the decision in my heart and mind to love unconditionally, it’s like a spiritual ball and chain. Love is the ball and the chain is my commitment. I am bound to love. Where it goes, I go. Consequently, I can choose to overlook how I feel or the behavior of others because I’m committed to my commitment to love. I place more value on love than my emotions or feelings. The spiritual ball and chain serve as an anchor, keeping me grounded in, and unable to move separately from love. Wherever the ball drops, if my heart remains committed, I follow because I’m bound by love.
You will always have a choice between loving someone and hardening your heart, but when you’re committed and you know God promised to take care of you, it’s safe to choose love. “For God has said, ‘I will never fail you. I will never abandon you’” (Heb. 13:5, NLT).
Many years ago, I began an in-depth study on the subject of love. Shortly thereafter, it seemed every relationship I had came under attack. I made the decision to immerse myself in the Scriptures addressing love and I’m so glad I did. As a result, my marriage and close relationships grew to be healthy and strong. They’re not perfect, but they are healthy. Instead of hardening my heart, I yielded to what I learned from the Word of God and followed the way of love. The results are undeniable.
When we become accustomed to yielding to God, we move into what I call redemptive love, the John 3:16 quality of love. Redemptive love is the highest form of love. It recognizes that judgment is due, but instead releases mercy. Consider the cross, God through His great love for us chose to remit our due judgment for sin, placing it upon His only begotten Son so we could be free. He loved with no limits. God expressed love without restriction by conditions or qualifications. This is the love God has toward the world.
We possess that same quality of love and when someone does something that hurts us, we have the ability to operate as God does, loving without limits.
This is perfected, mature love that’s difficult for many because it goes against human nature.
Human nature says, “If you hit me, I’m hitting you. You hurt me, I’m hurting you.” But, redemptive love blesses when cursed and pursues when rejected. It’s love on the highest order; love equaling God.
Redemptive love keeps its eyes on love and not the offense. The focus is God’s ability to reach the other’s heart. We see this modeled in the father in Luke 15 with his prodigal son. Love produced an expectation that things would turn around and ensured that the son had a safe place to come back to even though he left collateral damage behind. Love accepted and embraced him, it didn’t judge or criticize. Through love, the father was able to welcome his son home greeting him with the fattened calf and the royal robe of blessings.
The power of redemptive love takes the focus off the selfish mindset, which often motivates giving and receiving. One walking in redemptive love isn’t consumed with what they receive in return when they choose to forgive someone. They view their willingness to release love as an offering or investment, leaving the return on their investment to God. God is the giver, not the other person. It’s a love perspective that does what it does for a response from God, not people.
