A:
Three years ago, I got a phone call that no mother ever wants to receive. My 20-year-old son had been arrested for stealing from his employer. After spending the night in jail, a court date was set for three weeks. Five days later, he attempted to take his life. Having ingested 100 Tylenol PM’s, he shouldn’t have survived. Over the next month he fought for his life and gradually improved physically. Oddly though, he exhibited no remorse for his crime. None. The diagnosis came: my son had a personality disorder. He was a sociopath. We were told that he would likely spend his life in and out of prison. Worse yet, there was no treatment.
Once released, he estranged himself from the family. In the last three years, he’s agreed to meet us for dinner only twice. Two months ago, after completing parole, he relocated to another state. Wounded from relentless abuse endured in his orphanage, my son came into our family at age 11. His distorted thinking and poor choices were foretold in every book I read. I knew the only answer was to trust him to God. Hadn’t I heard Jill Briscoe say numerous times, “When trials come, remember faith is not a feeling!” I wasn’t feeling it, but I decided to work on surrendering it.
When trials come, remember faith is not a feeling! You may not be feeling it, but you can work on surrendering it.
Here are a few things that continue to help me on my journey.
1. Praise God in the Midst
When I intentionally practice praising Almighty God, even though my circumstances don’t change, my focus changes. Try to memorize Psalm 97:1-7.
2. Live One Day at a Time
Looking too far ahead paralyzes me and life’s problems seem hopeless. Try to live five minutes at a time when one day seems too hard.
3. Eyes Fixed on Jesus
When I am close to Him, I don’t sink (or at least submerge) when the wind comes up or I’m not “feeling it.” Try to daily acknowledge that you can’t save your loved ones, but God can.
4. Look for God’s Blessings
They are there even in the trials. Try to consciously look for them.
Some days panic consumes me, especially when I think about his twin brothers whom we adopted at age two. Will the same thing happen to them? Oh, Lord, must I surrender them too? “Yes!” I hear Him say, “Today I hold them in my hands.”
~ By Carin Winghart
