Without question, when going through a serious illness, you learn what faith truly is, along with finding the true meaning of beauty and how you really feel about yourself. I know this all too well. After going through many trials and tribulations in my life, things were finally going pretty well, until I had a head-on collision with not only breast cancer, but also colon cancer, and it changed my entire outlook on life. I thought I had it rough years before, but going through cancer was the rest of the iceberg. There's nothing like it. You wonder, what in life have I done so wrong to have this placed upon me? Why me?
It all became an awakening for me, in which I gained all the strength and encouragement I needed to conquer it. Not only did I find the true meaning of life, I found the true meaning of beauty. Through all the chemo, radiation, and pain I endured, I still felt beautiful. I found myself looking in the mirror even more during this time. I thought what I was dealing with would change me drastically, but as I viewed the imperfections I now have to live with, over time it got better.
Instead of feeling sorry for myself, I embraced it all. I'm still among the living; who am I to complain? I'm a survivor, as well as an example to show that my small mishaps are just that, and I can go on and look and feel just as beautiful, inside and out, and it shines brighter now.
I will say, the many times I have to view the scars, it's still a constant reminder I had cancer. And at times, it bothers me; I'm human. But within a moment or two, I look past it, because those areas can be covered up. True beauty is within and when you feel beautiful on the inside, it shows so clearly on the outside.
I know with cancer, many times you will be too weak to even think about how you look, because you're not always feeling your best, but sometimes you have to fight past it, and keep living. Through any tragedy, we are and always will be beautiful and unique. Women, we all know that our bodies take lickings, yet they keep on ticking!
Whether we're dealing with an illness or any other negative feelings about ourselves, our lives, and our bodies, we need to be our own cheering section. I've come to realize that even going through such a dark time in my life, I still have a life to be lived, and I'm going to live it to the fullest. When I think about the individuals who are no longer among us due to such a horrific disease, I'm truly grateful, and I will no longer take my life for granted—it’s too precious.
When I think of the “gift of life” that was given to me twice over, I knew I didn't have a moment to waste. I would never say having or going through cancer is a gift; surviving it, receiving a second and third chance at life, is the gift. Yet, I didn't allow the disease to take away who I am, or what I stand for. Each new day that I'm allowed to open my eyes, the days are brighter, because I'm able to see and appreciate it that much more. Just because I had cancer, doesn't mean cancer had me. We as women should never allow anything, or any circumstance to steal our joy, nor our self-esteem.
When I look back now at it all, I must say, I thought right away that my cancer diagnosis was truly a death sentence, because you're not sure if you're going to make it. I truly learned not to blink twice on life anymore, my eyes are wide open to living life to the fullest. I also realized after surviving cancer twice, that I was about to face a new beginning, new hope; do and see more with a whole new prospective on life. I gained much more confidence in myself, which led me to loving myself all over again.
I'm 63 years of age now, and I'm cherishing each day, each moment, and I feel that I'm still at my best, confident, as well as grateful. I'm starting over, doing things I should have done before cancer.
I'm a true example that you can survive cancer, not once, but twice, providing you get to it in time. I'm not saying all will be easy. I'm not saying all will survive it. But have faith, fight with all you have, then hold on. I truly believe when, and if, you survive a horrific tragedy or a horrible disease such as cancer, it's for a reason. You have a purpose, and through that purpose, faith, compassion, strength, and true beauty is born.
