I had a problem: I had no physical or emotional energy, and it was getting worse. The solution seemed to require more than a walk or a nap. Did I have a disease? Was I depressed? Or was this just part of getting older? 

I gave myself six weeks. If I didn’t see improvement by then, I would go to a doctor. After the first week, I was well on my way to success. The next five weeks, I practiced what I discovered. Those weeks were probably the most significant weeks of my life. 

I started by putting aside most relationships and involvements to confirm what was essential and what wasn’t. Once those were cleared out, I had room to start digging. It wasn’t long before I discovered a few treasures hidden under the clutter—some things that no longer belonged there, and deep beneath, some rich, fertile soil.  

I started dreaming about a new design for growth in my life. With Christ’s help, I dug, pruned, and began to redesign my "flower bed" of well-being. And I came up with this personal inventory to help me dig out of my low energy.  

THE DESIGN 

1. Identify what drains your physical and emotional energy—to help you bloom, not wilt.  
2. Identify areas to prune—to help you bloom more fully.   
3. Take note of branches that need to be cut out at root level—to get rid of the ones that are no longer productive, even though they may have been years ago.   
4. Put caution tape around holes—to feel safe emotionally around potential traps. 
5. Learn the difference between a weed and a flower—to discard the weeds, so they do not strangle the flowers. 
6. Confirm that the "plant food" you love is, in fact, the most nourishing—to give you consistent healthy results.  
7. Choose the flowers you want to grow—include different colors, textures, sizes, and times of blooming to bring you joy throughout the year. 

THE NOURISHMENT 

• Maintain a simple, fresh, intimate relationship with Christ.
• Have a clear purpose.
• Journal three questions a day: What bugged me today? What felt really great? What is a way to change what bugged me into an improvement?  
• Absorb relevant devotionals, blogs, and just-for-fun books.
• Keep eating healthy, exercising, and getting enough sleep. 

Now, the garden is prepped. You're ready to plant the flowers for your garden: 

THE FLOWERS

The Relationship Flower

   Choose to invest in people who: 

• share a connection of mutual vulnerability and accountability.
• believe you are enough. 
• believe the best in people.
• can be trusted to have your back as you're trusted to have theirs. 
• welcome and accept depth of thoughts and emotions. 
• keep focused on Christ’s voice and character.

  Choose to:

• stop tripping over patterns of broken trust, disappointment, false assumptions, fear, blaming, and defensiveness. 
• accept who God made you and what you have to offer. 
• give fully and freely.  
• no longer be dependent on others for approval. 
• not allow others to define you (For example, "Don’t feel that way,” “You should be this way,” or  “Don’t be that way.”) 
• not shrink when faced with aggressive, so-called "strong" people; rather, speak fearlessly knowing that you have something they need; a gentle voice can be stronger, and a quiet, thoughtful response also has value.  
• not allow backstabbing and bullying and to turn your fear of being hurt into compassion for bullies' insecurity.
• treat yourself with honesty, attentiveness, and affirmation as you would any other friend.  

The Time Flower

Choose to:

• limit your time on social media. Pull away periodically to evaluate what is needed from you as well as what is needed for you. 
• be focused, minimizing immediate responses to others, guarding your thoughts from distraction, and being present in the moment with all your senses. 
• allow yourself to be choosy about your level of service.  
• allow yourself the freedom to check if you have the internal resources to support someone else's need, and if not, to step away until you have something to give. 

The Personal Space Flower

Choose to:

• create enough space for what is yours and not crowd it with what belongs to others. 
• not allow gossip in your space even though you are empathetic and trusted. Ask, “What do you need from me? If you don't need help to find a solution now, I will be here for you then.”  

The Motive Flower

Choose to:

• identify your intent by asking a quick “Why” before you say or do anything. 
• clarify your motive before talking about another person: “What is the reason I am sharing this?” If it is for any reason other than problem-solving, refrain from sharing. 
• recognize the difference between supporting others for their own benefit instead of only meeting your need to feel valued.  

The Personal Needs Flower

Choose to:

• meet your approval and affirmation needs through intimate reliance on Christ so that you can give fully and freely from the abundance of His encouragement, attentiveness, respect, and kindness. 
• not rely on others to give you what you need, resulting in weeds of disappointment and selfishness.  
• protect yourself not because you're afraid, but because your uniqueness and integrity have value.  
• welcome feedback to become more effective, not to gain approval.
• allow time to think before continuing, whether for a brief pause or a few hours. 
• care for your body, making the healthy choice even if a package of Oreos is tempting.  

The Contribution Flower

Choose to:

• be confident in what you have to offer. 
• give freely with no expectation of response. 
• strive for excellence in everything. 
• live your truth, knowing your emotions are valid, your thoughts are valuable, and your voice is worthy of expression.  
• believe that the value of what you bring is not determined by whether another person accepts or notices it. 
• use words to build up not tear down. 
• be alert for opportunities to show courageous empathy, bright kindness, bold quietness, and brave vulnerability. 
• represent Christ through all. 

HOW DOES YOUR GARDEN GROW? 

These are the flowers for my life. Your garden may be different than mine─a different size, with different soil, colors, textures, aromas, and a different energy to maintain.   

Everyone grows what they want in their way. The results look different, but the essentials to cultivate a flourishing garden are the same. What choices are you making to fully display God's design for your life?