Recently I returned from a visit to Olmsted Manor, a retreat center in northcentral Pennsylvania. As anticipated, the two-day stay had clarified my vision and invigorated my spirit for the days ahead.

Over the last couple decades I’ve gone on dozens of personal getaways with God. I’ve retreated at a cabin on church campgrounds, at a Benedictine monastery “hermitage,” at home, and, most recently, at the lovely Manor. And almost always I’ve had a life-altering time with the Lord, coming away more closely attuned to Him and sharpened for service.

Almost always.

On just a few occasions I’ve returned home feeling like I’d largely wasted an opportunity. I had not connected with God like I could have, not fully heard His voice, not thoroughly experienced His intimate presence. In fact, two visits ago came just such an experience.

Really, though, my notes from that disappointing retreat don’t read like wasted opportunity…

I’d studied the Old Testament book of Nehemiah. I’d read the books To Be Told by Dan B. Allender, The Soul of Shame by Curt Thompson, and Frederick Buechner’s Telling Secrets—all profitable reads—and took notes on most of them. Plus, I enjoyed two Christian novels in the evening hours and interspersed all this with several meditative walks. All in three days.

Yet I came home feeling a bit bereft, like maybe I’d missed the point somehow. Looking back, it’s no wonder I felt that way. My nose was in a human-authored book most of time. I’d crammed the hours with reading and note-taking, yet left wondering if I’d truly received what God had called me there for.

In the light of this lesson and others gleaned over the years, the Lord has helped me establish seven guidelines for personal retreat. Perhaps you, too, will find them helpful for your next (or first) personal getaway with God:

1.  Wait for Him.

In preparation, allow the Lord to set the retreat time, place, and theme. Will it be a worship retreat? A dive into deep study of the Word? A time of fasting and intercession for a crisis or a long-unresolved need? A space in which to seek guidance or a fresh focus for ministry? Don’t rush Him; give Him space to unfold His heart in His timing. He alone understands your times and seasons; He alone knows His purposes for you.

“Those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires” (Rom. 8:5).

Lord, what do You want this retreat to be about? When? Where?

2.  Look to Him.

Allow God to direct your Bible study and to highlight supporting books, music, or other material to take along, if any. He knows if you are depleted or burdened or have backslid, and how to address that. He also knows the new work He desires to do in and through you and what tools He wants to use.

“And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus” (Phil. 4:19).

Lord, You know what You want to accomplish on this retreat. Please bring the Scripture focus and any additional materials to my attention, so that Your purposes will be advanced in me.

3.   Open to Him.

As the retreat begins, welcome the Holy Spirit, the third Person of the Trinity, as your intimate Companion and Guide. Freely acknowledge His authority, warmly invite His revelation, open wide to His work.

“Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting” (Ps. 139:23–24).

Welcome, Holy Spirit. I surrender myself to You. I know I need You. I need Your insight and revelation; I need Your transforming power. Take over now, I pray.

4.   Turn it over.

Going forward, keep the entire retreat time and every activity in God’s hands. Prayer. Bible study. Note-compiling. Godly meditation. Recreational reading. Walks. Conversations with others. Listening silence.

“Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit” (Gal. 5:25).

Take each moment and all I am and do; continually direct me according to Your will. Don’t let me wander off-course or waste any of this precious time.

5.   Change it up.

The Lord knows that most of us can’t sustain intense study, earnest prayer, or abandoned worship for long hours without a break. A change of activity or scenery renews the mind and recharges the body. Eat a snack. Take a walk. Look at an uplifting magazine (like the latest issue of JBU!). Close your eyes and listen to a song.

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens” (Eccl. 3:1).

Lord, I acknowledge both my frailty and my inability, sometimes, to take it into account. Pace me, Lord, throughout this time.

6.  Write it down.

As check-out time nears, compile your “Carry-out Plan.” Ask the Lord for specific ways to carry out, in the coming days and months, any spiritual insights and practical instructions you’ve received at the retreat. Write His directives down so that none are forgotten.

“Continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose” (Phil. 2:12–13).

Please help me, as I leave this place, to continue to embrace the new truths You’ve shown me and to completely carry out all You’ve charged me with, as Your Holy Spirit directs and helps.

7.  Carry it through.

After you are home, reread retreat notes and that Carry-out Plan from time to time.

“But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do.” (James 1:25).

Am I living out what You worked into me at retreat? Am I staying on task? Are any course corrections needed?

I’m happy to say that I did wait on the Lord for His theme and Scripture selection for that most recent Olmsted Manor retreat. It was a much simpler time! He directed me to one non-fiction book (Reforesting Faith by Matthew Sleeth) and to put The Restoration Chronicles by Lynn Austin on my Kindle for evening reading. The Scripture emphasis (Isa. 43:18–21) actually didn’t become clear until I arrived at the Manor. And I knew that my husband’s upcoming retirement, with all the life changes that meant for us, would be a particular focus.

Mornings through mid-afternoon were spent with the Word and long, meditative walks with God, late afternoons with Reforesting Faith, evenings with one of Austin’s novels. This pattern left plenty of time for listening and reflection, enjoying God’s presence, receiving specific guidance, and generally refreshing my spirit. I came home grateful that God had given me Word-based insights on several key issues and confident He would continue preparing my heart for life changes that lay ahead.

I’m not sure when the next retreat will be or what it will look like. But this know: I want the Lord to initiate and oversee everything. And I’m already looking forward to what He’s got in mind.

These seven guidelines will advance my future retreats and, I pray, yours as well. They’ll help each of us welcome His Lordship, discern His leading, cooperate with His workings—and return home having made the most of our getaway with God.