How do you feel when you see or hear the buzz phrase quiet time? For a good part of my Christian life, I endured the weight of a low but steady level of guilt because no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t measure up to the rigid quiet-time blueprint touted by many well-meaning Christian leaders. I own an enviable collection of journals, all of which sit empty or contain text only on the first few pages. I have unopened packages of 3 X 5 note cards (for learning memory verses), highlighter pens, and enough Bible-reading plans and weekly prayer guides to take me into the next century.
When I would hear a persuasive teaching related to what constitutes the “perfect” quiet time, I’d stock up on all the recommended essentials and set my alarm (because every good Christian knows the best time to have a quiet time is in the morning). I’d fly out of the gates strong, running the course with a newfound quiet-time zeal, but by the end of the first week, I’d lag behind the pack and limp along with halfhearted enthusiasm. Before long, I was hitting the snooze on my alarm and retiring the empty journals and blank note cards to the cabinet in my office, where other empty journals and blank note cards live in happy harmony. I was a quiet-time flunkie. I didn’t lack commitment to reading my Bible and praying, but I couldn’t follow the formula that so many other believers have embraced as a standard discipline.
My husband is a shining example of someone who can maintain a steady and consistent daily quiet time. If you look up quiet time in the dictionary, you will find his smiling face with an open Bible in his lap, yellow highlighter in hand, and an old photocopies printout of the characteristics of God (so he can praise God for each one over the course of the month). If I’m a quiet-time flunkie, my husband is a quiet-time overachiever. Never mind that my husband was also a model student and managed to graduate from college (chemical engineering) in four years at the top of his class (valedictorian, to be exact). In fact, he scored all As and only one B in his entire college career. I scored one B as well, but I was rather excited about my B. I kid. I may have scored a few more Bs, but unlike my husband, I viewed a B as a grade-point booster, not a grade-point buster.
My husband and I are wired very differently. His personality lends itself to structure, and mine, not so much. For years, though, I berated myself for being unable to live up to the standard quiet-time formula. Even worse, I imagined God who was tapping on His watch and shaking His head back and forth when I approached His throne. “Oh, it’s you again (Insert heavy sigh.) It’s about time you decided to make an appearance. How about we see if you can make it ten minutes without losing your train of thought when the dryer buzzes or your cell phone chimes?” When we view God as an angry taskmaster who is more concerned with our behavior than our hearts, meeting with Him becomes more about maintaining the rules than maintaining the relationship.
When I finally cut myself some slack over my perceived quiet-time failures and realized that God doesn’t endorse one particular method for spending time with Him, I felt freedom to seek Him with a sincere heart, not a guilty ambivalence. What works for one person may not work for another. Using a one-year Bible (containing 365 readings with portions from the Old Testament, New Testament, Psalms, and Proverbs) works best for me. When I skip a day (or more), I can often catch up, but sometimes I grant myself grace and pick up on the current day. (I realize this would be very hard for those of you who are perfectionists.) I also bought a Bible software program for my computer, and, if time allows, I love to look up verses that jump off the page while I’m reading the assigned passages. I’ll dig deeper to discover the Greek or Hebrew words an definitions for key concepts and read several different commentaries to gain a better insight into the meaning of the verse or passage. I might go three or four days without opening my Bible, only to spend an hour or two the next night dissecting a single passage and poring over resources that will give me further insight.
My prayer life looks more like an ongoing conversation with God throughout the day than a prescribed time each day. I praise Him for His many attributes as I notice them throughout my day, and I take time to savor the moments when I notice His handiwork. Sometimes I listen to a favorite worship playlist of hymns that continually bring me to tears over the beauty of the gospel. I have no idea how long my quiet times last because I meet with Him off and on throughout my day. I have finally found the structure that works best for me (less structure), and I am focused more on building my relationship with Him rather than following a set of rules.
Maybe you clock faithfully day after day, but do so more out of duty than delight. Rather than viewing your time with God as the one thing needed, it has become “the one thing I’m supposed to do.” As a result, your solid track record shows your diligence, but your faith feels stale. Behavior modification tactics rarely yield a sincere and thriving relationship with God. Mary sat at Jesus’ feet because she viewed that time as an absolute necessity, not an item to be checked off her to-do list. You can meet with God on a regular and consistent basis and miss Him entirely in the process. In other words, you might be present when the roll is called, but absent when it comes to hearing Him.
When you impose rigid guidelines that dictate how your time with God should look, you turn that time into a dreaded chore rather than an anticipated privilege. Let me as you this question: If you were to skip your time with God , would you be more concerned about missing the mark or missing God? Your answer to that question can offer valuable insight about your underlying motivation for spending time with God. What if you scrap preconceived motivations for spending time with God? What if you scrap preconceived notions about what constitutes a quiet time and start with a clean slate? One size doesn’t fit all when spending time with God.
When we fail to spend time with God on a consistent basis, it’s easy to forget who He is and ho much He loves us. Disappointments, anger, unconfessed sin, unanswered prayers, unmet expectations, and a variety of other disruptions can leave us feeling alienated from God and tempted to avoid Him. Yet avoiding Him only increases the unrest we feel in our souls because our God created us to find our rest solely in Him.
If you have been avoiding God, I want to encourage you to “with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that [you] may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need” (Heb. 4:16). Approach His throne and pour out your heart to Him. If your heart is breaking because of unanswered prayer, tell Him. If you are caught up in a web of sin, go to Him and confess it. If you are burdened by your past, ask Him to remind you of His grace that set you free.
The Greek word for “confidence” in this verse is parrhesia, and it means “outspoken-ness, frankness, bluntness.” Approach Him and begin the conversation. Tell Him why you’ve been avoiding Him. He can handle it. Chances are you have imagined God to be someone He’s not. It’s time to mend the relationship. If you’re caught up in a stronghold of sin, restoration may not happen overnight, but it begins with your willingness to approach Him. He has been waiting for you, like the father waiting for his wayward son (Luke 15:20). He is not angry with you. Nor is He sitting on His throne waiting to punish you for your rebellion. You have not exhausted the limit of some arbitrary forgiveness quotient. He does not tire of offering you grace to cover yoru sin. Again. For the bazillionth time. He won’t lecture you for being a no-show, regardless of your reason. He eagerly waits to offer mercy and grace in your time of need.
Regardless of what hinders you from connecting with God, your soul will lack rest until you turn to Him as the one thing needed. Take a few minutes to stop and ponder the glorious mystery that the God of the universe not only stepped in to save you from your sins, but He also wants to know you and wants you to know Him. Recognizing that astounding truth ought to bring each one of us to our knees in humble gratitude and worship. He does not force Himself into our lives but, instead, gives us the choice. Many of us have become so distracted, we have failed to see an alternative to our chaotic, frenzied duty-filled lives. We have been given another choice—a better choice—that will bring rest to our frenzied souls.
Have you chosen the one thing needed? If not, what are you waiting for?
The One Week Dare
Over the next week, I dare you to set aside a block of time every day to sit at the Lord’s feet and soak up His Word. Whether you pick a book of the Bible to read or decide to focus on th a specific text, allow yourself enough time to meditate on what you read and talk about with the Lord. If possible, try to meet with Him in the morning in order to set the course for your day. In addition, implement a daily and consistent time of prayer. Remember, prayer is an ongoing conversation, so make it a practice to keep the conversation going each day for one solid week. Specifically, ask God to open your eyes and heart to what He is teaching you during this time. Even if you are disciplined in your quiet time and prayer time, focus on building the relationship rather than maintaining the ritual. Don’t view it as one more “rule” to bog you down, but rather as a way to get acquainted with God.
If it’s been a while since you’ve spent time with God, consider making the first day a time in which you commit to “with confidence draw near to the throne of grace” (Heb. 4:16). Remember, the Greek word for confidence means “outspokenness, frankness, bluntness.” Pour out your heart to Him. If you’ve been avoiding Him, tell Him why. Begin an honest conversation with Him. If you have been faithful in spending time with God, but your time with Him has become routine and predictable, consider changing an element—a different Bible translation, a different devotional, a worship playlist. Focus on the relationship. Just show up, sit down, and enjoy the one thing needed.
~ By Vicki Courtney. Excerpt from Rest Assured: A Recovery Plan for Weary Souls by Vicki Courtney. W Publishing Group, an imprint of Thomas Nelson. Used with permission.
