Brace yourselves, this might be a rough ride. No matter how old we are, we are not old. We are just older than we used to be, but it ain’t over till the bony lady sings. That pretty much describes life over the age of 50 for most folks. This is the season in our lives overflowing with life- changing moments. My ranting and raving might disturb a few folks, but why not get real about life, love, and laughter?
IT'S NOT A COUNTRY SONG...IT'S LIFE!
By this age, most of us realize that even though life didn’t turn out the way we dreamed it would, it has still turned out. We made mistakes, battled regrets, and faced fears head on. We know how to grit our teeth and give it all we’ve got. Perseverance paid off, and in most instances, blowing a gasket did not. Our opinions really don’t matter in the big picture of life, but nonetheless, I would like to share something anyway: Tattoos, piercings, long straggly hair, or fuzzy chest-length beards are not the end of the world even if we squint our eyes and pretend not to see them.
We have been blessed to have friends who stick together so we don’t have to ride life out alone. Most of the people we know didn’t get the white picket fence or a marriage proposal from an airplane flying through the sky, but we did get the gift of friendship with people who are living life on the sunny side and soaking it up instead of sitting and souring.
I understand life was supposed to be perfect. It didn’t happen for most of us. Some of us tried marriage more than once, and we truly understand why in most cases it was meant to be only one time. We have loved and raised children we did not give birth to, yet by the grace of God we love them as if they were our own. Our children have let us down at times, and we have let down our children. We love our grandchildren whether they were conceived before or after the marriage. We even love them if their parents never got married. We have learned to lean on each other, to live life fully alive, to cry our eyes out, and to laugh till our bellies hurt.
We have learned to appreciate the word positive. After all, we cannot live a positive life if we always have negative thoughts. There comes a day when we have to tell the negative committee that meets in the boardroom of our minds to sit down and be quiet. We realize we get better at life when we work hard at finding the good and not stressing over the bad. One thing most of us will agree on is that life hasn’t been easy, but it has been worth it. We remind each other that we can live a blessed life even if it is a little messy.
From our younger days to these days, life goes by so quickly. The days were long, but the years were short. From diapers to dates to Depends...it’s a quick trip!
I have learned (and continue to learn) these truths:
- Being right isn't all it’s cracked up to be.
- Saying “I am sorry” with sincerity is better than “I love you” because I want something.
- When I say, “I told you so” to someone, it makes me look as ugly as reading beauty magazines makes me feel.
- I realize I have a filter between my mind and my mouth—if I will just use it. The craziest things pass over my vocal cords while bypassing my brain’s filter completely.
- No one can drive me crazy unless I give them the keys.
- It’s okay to admit I am tired. Sometimes I am dead tired.
WHAT'S LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT?
Ever wonder what would happen if we took several One-A-Day vitamins at one time? I wonder if it would put a kick in our step and a twinkle in our eye. Now we could all get used to that.
Let’s look at love—not for vitamins but for each other. We probably should remember to stop in the name of love and kiss our spouses or hold his hand or just sit next to him on the couch to watch television as we gaze into each other’s eyes and realize it is 9 p.m. and past our bedtime.
Or the love of junk. Some of our dining room tables have so much stuff piled on top of them that we couldn’t clear it off to have a family dinner unless we rented a bulldozer. There comes a time when we learn it is not unforgivable to be a pitiful housekeeper nor is it a sin to not eat at the dinner table.
In the name of love, I think I will keep going just a wee bit longer. The older most of us get, the more hair becomes an issue. I think there comes a time in a woman’s life when she realizes it is pointless to shave above the knees. Who wears short-shorts at our age? Most of my so-called shorts are nicknamed “Capri.” Our husbands’ beards are disappearing, and hair is popping out their ears and creating a squirrel tail ridge across the top of that ear.
We probably should love people more than we hate their issues. This is how we can have peace with the people we love and even those we don’t. We can lose those dearest to us when we sweat the small stuff, or we can keep them coming back home for love and an occasional serving of advice when they ask for it. Personally, I have been known to heap out servings of advice like it was soda pop. Soon I realized advice given without being asked for is really criticism.
Let’s take off the mask at this point in life. Be a gift of love to people, to your spouses, and to your children and friends. I continue to try to convince my husband that the best gift of love he can give me will not cost him a dime: Just look me in the eyes and tell me I am beautiful even in the midst of menopause. Beautiful is such a fabulous word. It can heal words that have been said and hearts that have been broken. Again, life does not get easier, but we do get better at it.
GETTING REAL ABOUT LAUGHTER
We have finally figured out the power behind encouragement. It is about the sound of laughter rather than the sound of silence. I have also realized Super Glue and duct tape can fix just about everything, including loose lips. Talk about getting a grip on your lip. Dirty looks fix nothing.
Here’s to wrapping up my ranting and raving, I have one more issue. Our bodies have begun to snap, crackle, and pop so much that we feel like a spokeswoman for Rice Krispies. We take an Aleve and relieve the pain then boogie ‘til the sun goes down. We all have some awesome dance moves (probably not our career path at this age and with our skills, though). Just give most of us a good pedicure, manicure, hair color, convertible, splash of perfume, adjustment by the chiropractor, and red lipstick, and we can get our groove back in no time.
It’s about living life fully alive and enjoying every single second of it!
Off we go with the wind in our hair, laughter on our lips, and so many snacks for the road trip we might not be able to get into our swimsuits tomorrow, but life goes on! Life does have silver linings, rainbows, and beautiful sunrises. Though troubles linger still, the sound of laughter makes them seem a little smaller and the good things in life a lot bigger. Life—it’s about how we look at it. That is what I call living life on the sunny side.
Nehemiah 8:10 reminds us that “The JOY of the Lord is my strength.”
~ By Tammy Whitehurst
