I’ve always been a shockingly uncoordinated individual. As a child, I was not super aware of this fact and desired to be a dancer or a gymnast, hobbies that were well outside my natural abilities. My supportive parents set up a balance beam in the backyard so I could practice because, of all the events, beam was my weakest one. I would hoist myself up onto that piece of wood and do my best to walk across it without falling off or toppling over or injuring myself in some way. I was often unsuccessful but I kept getting up and trying, my arms stretched out and my legs shaking below me.
Twenty years later, I’m still not flexible or graceful or anything you need to be a dancer or a gymnast, but I’m thankful for that experience in my backyard.
Balance has never been my strong suit in any area of my life. While my personality is pretty moderate and even, my interests and my use of time are not. When I’m working on a project, I dive all in and it consumes everything. The same thing happens with a particularly intriguing novel or binge-worthy show: I take a deep dive for a period of time and, when I’ve had enough of that, I return to the surface before I move onto the next topic.
For years, the idea of balancing time seemed ridiculous to me. It wasn’t something I concerned myself with because I believed I could handle whatever came at me. I could take on every project thrown at me at work, handle every issue my friends had, serve at every church function, and still leave room in my schedule to spend time with God. I took everything on, sure that if I had my color-coded calendar organized, I would be OK.
But I was wrong.
Balance isn’t about having a well-maintained calendar, it is about caring for all the parts of you. That’s right, balance is part of self-care.
When was the last time you cared for you?
Some of you probably just laughed at the sentence above because you’re a busy mom, a wonderful wife, and a hard worker, who also volunteers at church on Sunday. And, honestly, if you’re even one of those things, I’m certain you’re busy and long for a little more time to care for you.
Here are some ways you can take care of yourself.
1. You are important.
This is something I struggle to accept, but I’m going to tell you what I’ve learned over the past few months: You are important because you are a human being. That’s it.
Your importance doesn’t come from what you do or provide for others, the title that you hold, the degree you earned, the zip Code you live in, or the amount of money in the bank. You are important because God loves you.
I often find my life swings out of balance when I begin to forget this very important truth. When I begin to believe that I’m not important, I take on more than I should and that’s when everything starts spiraling out of control. When I believe my significance comes from the people I help, the products I create, the words I write, or the number of hours I serve, my life races into an unhealthy realm.
2. You can say “no.”
Shocking, I know. This is a revolutionary stance to take but, ‘no’ is a word in the English language that is, in fact, available to be used by you.
If you’re anything like me, it’s so easy to feel like the entire world depends on you and you’re the only one who can accomplish the tasks that come up. Or maybe you feel like you’re the most competent one for the task, and if you don’t do it, then someone else will do it wrong. Or maybe, you don’t want to say “no” to someone and risk them thinking less of you. Maybe you think juggling myriad requests is your burden to bear.
If you’re in any of those categories, I get it. I’ve lived in all of them at one point in time or another. I am constantly having to remind myself that my identity and my being accepted aren’t contingent upon me accepting every request that comes my way.
In my best moments, I make myself take a good, hard look at my schedule, my mental and emotional health, and my season before I allow myself to say “yes” to anything.
Practicing saying “no” is incredibly difficult but is so life-giving! By saying “no” to certain things, you’re able to say “yes” to the right things!
3. Asking for help is OK.
Asking for help is probably along the same lines as saying “no” and is not a fan favorite. I know I don’t love asking for assistance, but I’m great at giving that advice to others.
For years, I thought asking for help was a sign of weakness. Strength, to me, was being able to bear the crushing weight of the tasks and the mounting to-do list by myself. But, I’ve come to learn suffering in silence while lashing out at others and not caring for myself isn’t a sign of strength.
I am learning, day by day, to ask for help from the right people and to accept offers of assistance when they come. I’m still not perfect at this, but I’m better at it than I was.
I don’t have all the answers. I don’t have a magic trick that will immediately clear your calendar. I cannot balance your life and make it more manageable with a few hundred words, no matter how eloquent those words may be.
But I can encourage you that you can do it. You can dig into your life and your schedule and ask yourself the hard questions. Just take it one day at a time, one event a time, one situation at a time. You’ll do great some days and fail miserably on others, but that’s OK and just part of life. And know, that whether you have the best day or the worst day, we are here, cheering you on as you take courageous steps toward balance and self-care.
~ By Sarah J. Callen. Sarah is an entrepreneur and published author, living in Dallas, Tex. Her dreams include founding businesses, giving strategically, and sharing art with the world. You can connect with her on her blog: workinprogressblog.co/ or on social media @sarahjcallen.
