According to psychology, the human mind is wired in such a way that we thrive best when we are connected to each other. From the first pages of the Bible, God tells us that the human soul does not do well alone. Further research substantiates that leaders who don’t have a safe person to journey with end up stuffing their anxieties and setting themselves up for a future meltdown.
As much as I embrace the idea that two are better than one, I have also felt the sting of needing a co-laborer in Christ and then finding that person wasn’t there. Maybe they chose to walk away. Maybe their time on earth was up, and they were taken to be with their heavenly Father. Maybe their own internal struggle or ambition drove them to a position that was incompatible with my own calling. Whatever the reason, I have discovered painfully that when a leader depends on another person, and that person proves to be undependable, the situation can cause us to lose our boldness.
How do we need each other, yet not become overly dependent? Is there even such a thing as letting someone into your heart, but not getting too close, so you guard your heart from disappointment or betrayal?
The solution is not to withdraw from others or say we will do everything by ourselves. Instead, we can keep one hand in God’s hand, while we also allow someone else to hold our other hand. God’s hand is strong enough to help us finish running our race even if it means starting all over again. While our support and encouragement can come from people, our confidence should always come from God. No earthly person can ever thwart God’s plans or push His servant out of office.
David’s son Absalom declared himself king and raised a revolt against David when Absalom thought himself a worthier leader. While a great number of people in the kingdom flocked to Absalom, and David was forced to flee the castle, he never doubted God’s providence on his life. David was not insecure just because someone else wanted his position or people in the kingdom abandoned him. He did not sacrifice himself by retiring early or resigning, so the person nipping at his heels could take over the reins.
David did not pretend to be stoic, but instead let his heart break while crying out to God. All the while, he trusted that his appointments belonged to God. In time, David emerged again to take his rightful position. God’s appointments always stand.
As a leader, our confidence is not in human reasoning, gold, or chariots. I used to think my strength was in the support I had around me. I drew courage from numbers very much like politicians who are voted into office. God had to teach me that my strength is not in the army around me, but in the God who lives in me.
When my best friend passes unexpectedly or when someone covets my title or position, do I abandon God’s call on my life? No, there are times when God allows the peripherals, as well as what I consider essential, to be stripped away to teach me where my dependency must lie and to test what and who I truly depend on.
God did so in my life when He sent me to a different neighborhood in a different city. It surprised me how quickly those who said they would keep in touch were no longer a part of my life. When the phone calls stop and when the text messages lessen, we are left with the unfamiliar terrain in front of us and the daunting challenge to find our way.
What I have found over the years is how my anchor is in God’s call for my life. His calling gives me my place of belonging. Regardless of the changes that happen, God remains constant. His calling in our lives carves out a place for us that no human or event can ever rob from us.
