The space in between is a valid, and even good, place to remain for as long as you need. I found myself saying this to one of my clients as she described her experience of waiting at a fork in the road.
Most of us are familiar with that very uncomfortable place that is part after and part before, but not squarely either one. It feels like limbo and everything in us cries out for an answer, a direction, or anything to move us from the spot where we stand…waiting.
But what if that spot, that almost-but-not-yet place, was a bona fide part of the journey? What if it was okay to hang out there for as long as necessary and not feel like you are behind?
I typically shun this spot because I desire more immediate resolution. At times, I have an unhelpful bent toward stressed achievement and pushing forward.
But, over the course of time, especially moving into the second half of life, I often feel invited by God to presence. To be right where I am and as I am. After all, we are graciously offered one moment at a time, one day at a time. What do I miss when I rush or push or strain?
A few years ago I found myself in a fork in the road moment, and the energy of that space was overwhelming. I had set aside some time for prayer with God at a local arboretum. Finding a bench in a little space off to the side of the main path, I pulled out my journal. I told God I felt like I was in an eddy, just like the bench on which I sat…off to the side…paused on my journey.
What if that spot, that almost-but-not-yet place, is a bona fide part of the journey? What if it is okay to hang out there for as long as necessary and not feel like you are behind?
Outwardly, a pause like this can look quite calm. However, inside I was like a whinnying thoroughbred stuck in a stall. I was longing to run free, but felt trapped in a small holding space without the ability to break out.
That place inside me had been building up for many years. I was nearing the empty nest and new energies were awakening in me as I moved toward that next season of life and ministry. I was in my own now-and-not-yet moment. Waiting is hard.
By God’s grace, that season did flow into another season of opening, widening, and moving forward. But the time before the change is always a little tricky. Waiting builds a certain kind of muscle within our souls that is actually very good for us. Yes, it’s not necessarily fun or easy, but we do have an opportunity to attune our hearts to God in a new way.
Psalm 130:5-6 (NIV) says, “I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits, and in his word I put my hope. I wait for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning, more than watchmen wait for the morning.”
“My whole being waits” is a beautiful image of my entire self holding space for what God is doing in me and eventually through me. How might I be pressed to “my whole being waits” unless there was the in between?
From that time journaling on the bench, it would only be a few months before the gate would open before me and that beautiful, God-given energy would indeed burst forth.
My husband and I founded Unhurried Living and it has been a place for me to offer all that God has poured into me over the course of my entire life. I get to encourage women to live and lead from the overflow of God’s presence within them. It is one of the greatest joys of my life.
My own waiting at the fork led to a dynamic leap of faith. But there was a holy waiting before the unfolding.
I have come to rely on Philippians 1:6 (NIV) as a foundational paradigm for holding on in the process of life. “He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”
Waiting builds a certain kind of muscle within our souls that is actually very good for us...it’s not necessarily fun or easy, but we do have an opportunity to attune our hearts to God in a new way.
If you find yourself at a fork in the road, consider that it might be okay to rest in that space before bounding ahead. A few questions you can ask yourself as you linger in holy waiting:
- What if I saw this holding place as an invitation to look to God in new ways?
- What is occurring right here, in the present moment, that might nurture and uphold me?
- How does Philippians 1:6 encourage and even embolden me in my current situation?
Whatever it is that I am trying to get to will be reached in good time. Philippians 1:6 reminds me that I am inside a God-ordained and gracious process that God is initiating. God began a good work in me. God is carrying it on right now. God will complete the work in Christ.
This reality invites me to take a breath, lean back a bit, and enjoy this gift of growth and transformation over a lifetime.
May you be blessed as your love grows and as you are brought to completion by God himself.
